Today The War Is Birds 1, Maureen 0

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Oh yes, she did go there with all of the charisma and personality of a baby elephant. Oh yes, I did.

This episode is brought to you by the inner workings of my head and the outer workings of myself egging me on. There are moments when I seriously believe I could actually survive on an island all by myself, and not ever feel alone. There are so many characters in my head; I could keep myself amused and entertained for years to come. And I do this every day without being abandoned on an island. This is just the regular workings on regular days. So I say enter at your own risk and never say that I didn’t warn you. Welcome to me, brought to you by the ever wondering selves of mine.

So, today, I may not like drama but I certainly do love to wage wars; in my mind. For instance, earlier last week; I waged war with some birds. I want to say it came out me one, birds zero, but that would be a lie. And here is the story. Recently I secured a reasonable parking spot behind a couple of houses that rent out spots for a very reasonable amount of money a month. It is unpaved (so dirt backyard) and there are large trees at the far back of this yard.  So, with all of this going on and my parking in the far back; I have been pelted with bird poop all over my car and dust from the gravel as I drive in and out. After one day of this and another; I had a conversation (in my head) with said birds. It went like this:

Me: You know if you continue to shit on my car, I can get the trees cut down.

Birds: Just do it. We know where you live and we can fly.

Me: Okay how about we compromise?  (I am sure at this point I suggested payment of bird seed being given.)

Birds: Why the hell do you park under our trees knowing this is going to happen when we sit in our trees? Here’s a solution for you; park somewhere else. You don’t want us to shit on your car; just park somewhere else.

Birds one, me zero. Now I am onto evening the score. Now I leave the bird shit on my car and park as close to the edge of the trees as I can get. My reasoning with this is that they will look and see the bird shit and believe they already did this on my car and will do it to other cars instead that have not been shit on.

I have waged wars on wasps in the past, flies and many other bothersome things in my life. This is what you get when you have both a passionate and stubborn soul together.  The combination gives you a woman who is smart enough to have conversations (fights) with wildlife smaller than her and stubborn enough to not give in until said wildlife lose. Back to these birds; they do not know who they are messing with, but they will in a very short time. They may have won this fight, but I will win the war because I always have to.

Flies I am in constant contact with. When someone leaves a door open and one gets in; my back goes up and I become a woman possessed with the passion of the kill. I am so serious about this. First, I get the fly swatter out and chase it around for a bit. Then my swat connects and they are dead. My deed is not complete though until I pick it up and toss it onto the balcony so that the other flies thinking they want to come in will think twice before entering. Has it worked to date? I like to think so. And in all the conversations I have had with the flies in my head; I truly believe they are waving the white flag of surrender to me. I actually see this in my head, hear it in my ear, and feel it in my soul.

And to all of you out there who think I may be crazy; don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Or crazy like me? Or entertaining like me? I know this for sure because I watch him do it every day. He just looks up to the heavens and shakes his head on a daily basis. I keep telling him that’s not going to help. That him I speak of is my husband.

His every day is a living and breathing reminder to never say “I would love to be in your head for one moment.” And truthfully sharing with honesty; there are very few people I know strong enough or scary enough or even like minded enough to want to venture in my between the ears day, even once. And truthfully I know that there are no people I would want in my head for even a minute. To have even one of you mess with my working or playing with my psyche would be unforgivable and asking for a monster in your life. Just back away from the girl slowly, but never take your eyes off her for a moment.

Oh my, this has been such a fun filled piece and a reminder of me I love to be today. I truly do love being me and allowing myself to be me every day. The point of this piece today is just very simply being the one that you are each and every day. Wake up and say look out the world; I am coming out to play and be. Embrace all of your quirks and want to be, and then just be.

Thanks for coming out to play for a moment in my playground and feel free to invite me into yours for a play date, too. For the upcoming week how about we all just try to be the we that we are without adding what we should be to the mix. If you liked this read please share, follow and feel free to comment.

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About the author: Maureen Everick

I am 54 years old or young depending on the weather, my body, home, Google, the moon, my husband, and many other details in my life. I have a great job as a Registration Clerk for Blood Collection; but still want to win the lotto and retire now. I am a recovering addict and recently (in December) celebrated six years clean. I truly know how grateful I am to be alive and how much loyalty and honesty and positivity mean to me. And yes, positivity is a word. I checked with me. Thank you for coming to my blog and sharing my life with me through the positive to the funny to the shake your head 'seriously' moments. If I post anything that makes any part of your day better; even a moment; I am grateful for that. In this world today any reason to smile or laugh is positive.

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