The I’m Back And Stronger Than Ever; Even With The Pain
Welcome back and thank you for your patience through this lull I had to take. Sometimes, even I, have to take to my bed so to speak and be only reliant on the one foot in front of the other. And that is where I have been of late. In the deepest recesses of my heart and soul and trying to figure out me and where I fit in the great scheme that is my life; and who would have thought front and center.
It always amazes me when this happens because for most of my life my up front and center were the drugs and ways and means to get more. I was just a pawn in that grand scheme, being used as a tool to get the said more.
I went into a depression as that could only be a norm living under the stress I was for a time and somewhat still am. This is where I want to go today as a few really strong eye openers and feelings came about through all of this. Questions of which type of a headache is this one, came to be very real, very quickly. This was a truly enlightening experience. And let’s start right there.
I suffer from a few things today that are interesting in that they all deal with my head. I don’t think I was dropped as a baby; however, I cannot be surprised about this but I am still surprised anyway. There are some moments that I am in wonder that this is all I have to deal with after the past I have lived. So, back to the task in front of me, I go. First in the line is a skeletal pain I suffer from on the right side of my head from time to time that dates back to childhood and an infection that was traveling to my brain. Once they removed all the affected bones; I was deaf and that would not be able to be fixed. My ENT guy defaults this to one of those things I get to put up with and ibuprofen will tend to fix that. If not, then I may have another infection. Now about the second issue; my allergies to the weather, moods, seasons, and whatever else comes into play in this realm. I take two allergy meds every day and a nasal spray to help combat this somewhat. A while back I also found that the sinus headaches I suffer from are related to small nasal passages and not allergies. I go for surgery to fix that part on the 15th of this month. After a very real and very serious sinus infection earlier this year, this ENT guy finally agreed to do the surgery. I take tylenol and my allergy meds to help with that. And drum roll please because this is the icing on my said cake; my migraines have come back after having years of relief from them. Welcome to my little place of horrors at this time in my life. This is the role I now get to play on a pretty much daily basis.
I wake up and my head is already hurting. Over my first coffee, I try to feel where the pain is coming from in this globe I call my head. I start to rule out by seeing if it is above the right ear. If this seems to be the case; I take my ibuprofen. After an hour and it is still not gone but seems to be more facial that side of the head now, tylenol and a nose spray will get tried. And after a visit to my Family Doctor last week I now have a third option for bad headaches to try on top of the previous solutions, providing they don’t work. And finally, if none of this works and I feel it is a migraine; I have medication for that too. Unfortunately, as I sat here and remember the pharmacist words about this particular medication. It could make me dizzy and sleepy so I should not be driving or at work once this is taken. I remember telling my husband when I got home that day; am I supposed to have a conversation with my powers that be that we can certainly continue to get the migraines, but could we do it when I am at home?
I don’t know about yours, but my powers that be have way too much of a sense of humor to have this kind of information. I can see it already. Front page news flash. Woman dies while trying to strangle her powers that be because they refused to let her sort out which head pain this was and gave her a migraine at work. Or better yet, Woman dies of torment, strangling herself trying to get to her powers that be.
Now, I did not write all of this for this. I wrote this because this is a sort of reality in my life today. Not so much the sarcastic comedy, but the very real situations that come up in my life. Every turn in my life is already a force to be reckoned with, however, when I add recovery on top of that; it now becomes paramount that I stay vigilant to and with my recovery as these are the very things that could provide a relapse without the same vigilance. Therefore I know to take these things to my Family Doctor and other specialists always keeping my Doctor in the loop. With my Doctor, we tend to look at options that are not narcotic as solutions to ongoing problems. And, most important of all, we tend to look for solutions to not have these things continue. For instance, my sinus headaches, for the most part, will cease after the surgery. The migraines are a temporary issue because of all the stress going on at this time. I am going to look into some help to at least decrease the number of times this is an issue.
What I really wanted to get out in this piece today is dealing with the realities of life as they come at me. I could so easily go back to my old ways of thinking and doing and relapse and die. I can put a period at the end of that sentence because that is the true reality. Considering how hard I have fought to get and keep my recovery; that is not an option today. And, considering how much I love my recovering life and all that is in it; that is not even a consideration today.
What I do know to be true because it has worked for me and others, is that when I and my recovery become paramount of and with unicorns and rainbows; all else falls into the place as it should.
Thank you for understanding my short lived absence and do know that I am back stronger than ever with my blog. Once again, Sundays will be our time of healing and journeys into the recesses of my mind where we will cry, laugh, and just enjoy that my life as your playing field.
I hope you enjoy the read. If you do please like, share, follow and even comment if you are so moved. Until next Sunday, please find some rainbows and unicorns just for yourself.